Happy Friday Eve!!! Loving all of these new transitional pieces out that are spring perfect. I actually wore the jeans yesterday and they fit looser than the picture shows, which I like! I even sized down one. So I would say they have more of a “girlfriend” fit to them. The rose Free People sweater should be arriving any day now and I can’t wait to wear it with the jeans!!
I was going through old pictures the other day, and got a little sad about how fast the boys are growing. Do ya’ll ever get sucked in the picture looking hole? I went to find one image and literally spent an hour looking at the boys baby pictures. It’s a love/hate thing looking at their baby pictures because it makes me want another one hahaha. However, I am so SO thankful for the 3 I have because I am not able to have any more. This is something most people don’t know about , but I thought today I would get a little personal on here.
After Zander was born I decided to get an IUD. We were 99% sure we were done having kids, but we were both in our early thirties so didn’t want to do anything permanent. I got it in when he was about 8 weeks old, and the first few weeks were horrible. I had a lot of pain and bleeding but they kept telling me that was normal and that they would check it when it had been in for 1 month. (Lesson #1 – you know your body better than ANYONE) I went in at a month and sure enough it had moved and lodged itself in my uterus. She yanked it out – literally. It hurt worse than child birth (she delivered all 3 boys and was awesome at that.. this, not so much). Not sure what she was thinking or if that is standard protocol, but obviously the outcome was life changing for me so I’ve had lots of time to think about it all.
Anyway I decided to just get on the sugar pill since I was breastfeeding. The bleeding stopped and I thought all was good. About 3 months later weird hormonal stuff started happening. I started having drenching night sweats, literally I could wring my clothes out and I started feeling nauseous and having major anxiety. For awhile I thought it was postpartum depression. In a way it was, but later found out why. I honestly can’t even tell ya’ll how bad I felt. Those were legit some dark days. I felt like I was in a dream or something. My Dr ran tests and said my levels were normal for a breastfeeding mom of a 6 month old. I decided to wean Zander at this point because I knew something needed to change and thought maybe that would help. Wrong. It got worse. Shortly after I got my first period. Then 2 weeks later another, and that cycle continued. Still nauseous (like dry heaving every morning, and having drenching night sweats) Again my Dr. drew blood and said my levels were “normal” for someone who had just stopped breastfeeding. Again, I knew my body but I was like in a trance at this point and felt helpless.I ended up going to a psychiatrist because my Dr. eluded to postpartum depression. I’m sure she was happy to get me off of her hands and get back to delivering babies. That was the last time I saw her. My psychiatrist I was seeing (life saver) said he felt there was definitely something medically wrong and sent me to a new Dr. who specializes in hormones. At this point I was starting to realize I wasn’t losing my mind because my bleeding had gotten so bad. I was playing tennis and had blood run down my leg and literally onto the court. Hello embarrassing! So sorry ya’ll this is so detailed eeek.
Okay so I get in with the new Dr. and she said that the correct way to test hormones is to draw blood, then redraw 2 days later to see the shift or if there is one. Good to know & had not been tested like that with the other Dr. So she literally called me at 8:00 the night of my second test. My heart kind of stopped!! She said I had no estrogen reading (literally none ) and my uterus was enlarged. She wanted to go in and do a DNC to see what was going on. It was the first time through all of this I actually cried because instead of feeling panic, I felt relieved. She said word for word , “you poor thing, I can’t image with these readings what you must feel like”
The DNC showed that I had scar tissue on my uterus that had formed from the IUD fiasco. So apparently if your uterus is not healthy it can wreak havoc on your ovaries and hormones. They tried to scrape the scar tissue off during the procedure but I was warned I would most likely have to have a hysterectomy. I gave it about 2 months, but still felt crappy. So after much discussion with Mark and my new Dr. we decided to go ahead and remove my uterus. At the time I actually wasn’t sad about it, I just wanted to feel better. Mark was super freaked out because it is considered major surgery, but he of course was by my side the entire time. I still have no regrets because those 8 months were the worst in my life and the hysterectomy was life changing for me. Even better is I have never had another period! Since I got to keep my ovaries, I do not need to be on any hormone supplements and will not go through menopause early. Anytime I get slightly sad it’s not possible to have more kids I think about the fact that this could have happened after my first or before I even had any &&& at the end of the day I really don’t want more kids, it’s just the idea that I can’t that bugs me sometimes.
Very few people know this entire story, but it feels good to share. Sorry it was sooo long!!
Have a wonderful day!